The Devil Dog of Costco

April 18, 2018December 3, 2022 - Scott Leave a comment

This is the story of how I became acquainted with the best hot dog I have ever eaten. I am speaking of the Kirkland Signature Beef Dinner Frank, affectionately known in our family as “The Devil Dog of Costco.”

A Costco membership is not the most practical thing to have in Central Illinois, as the nearest warehouse is 71 miles away, across the river in St. Peters, Missouri. We’re pretty much in Sam’s territory here.

Nevertheless, my wife, Diana, is from the Toledo, Ohio area, and most of her family is still there. Two of her nephews, and the wife of one of them, all work for Costco. When you first hire on there, you are given a few free memberships that you can give to friends and family. Since we were a fan of their products and travel service, we decided to go ahead and sign up, despite the fact that we knew we would not be able to visit all that regularly.

A couple of months ago when we were back visiting family, we had some time to kill, so we thought we’d stop in at Costco to stock up on. . .whatever. Upon arriving, my wife said she was thirsty, and went over to the food court to get a Mountain Dew. Having had one of my mother-in-law’s lavish country breakfasts earlier in the day, I didn’t want anything.

After a few minutes, Diana came back with her soda (excuse me, her POP. We’re in Ohio now.) along with one of the biggest hot dogs I had ever seen, slathered in ketchup. (I’ll pause a moment for the Chicago folks to regain their composure.)

“What did you DO?” I asked. “I told you I wasn’t hungry.”

She replied, “It’s a special–a dog and a drink for only $1.50. Plus I can get one refill on the drink. I couldn’t pass that up!” I had to admit, that was quite a deal. Eventually, she convinced me to take a bite. Oh my. Juicy and full of flavor, but not as overwhelmingly spiced as a Hebrew National, which is now my SECOND favorite hot dog.

“You’re the devil,” I said. I’m not sure if I was talking to my wife, or the dog itself. Despite my not being hungry at all, I put down half of that dog in about 30 seconds. Later on, as we were browsing the store, we saw that these dogs were on special for $11.99. We grinned at each other, almost wickedly, and grabbed a package.

Kirkland Signature Beef Dinner Franks from Costco — Kirkland Signature Beef Dinner Franks. Using my shiny picture because I didn’t feel like dealing with Costco’s copyright department for their prettier one. Low-rent, you know.

These devil dogs come advertised as “1/4-pound plus.” To be specific, 4.36 ounces apiece, which is to say, at least twice the size of a normal hot dog. They come 14 to a pack. Since there are only the two of us at home, we realized quickly that there was no way these were all going to be consumed in one hit. Diana had the idea to freeze them in fours–one each for dinner, and one for my lunch on a day when I would have a time conflict at the dinner hour.

One of the tricks to the proper consumption of devil dogs is finding a bun that can successfully corral them. I think I have found the perfect one–the pretzel buns from Shop ‘n Save, a chain of supermarkets in Illinois and Missouri. (UPDATE–Shop and Save was bought out, and has since closed all their stores in this area. On my birthday, no less. Figures.)

Costco hot dogs and Shop 'n Save pretzel buns. — Four dogs and four buns. Solving the age-old conundrum of making the number of dogs and buns come out even.

I have discovered that an excellent flavor combination is the Costco dog on the pretzel bun with dijon mustard. This way, in a single bite you get the flavor combinations of hot dog/mustard as well as pretzel/mustard, both of which are great individually. My choice of complementary beverage is a Yuengling Traditional Lager (another thing I have to travel to get).

Find a Costco near you and getcha some!

Slow-Cooker Mac & Cheese

April 13, 2018June 13, 2018 - Scott Leave a comment

INGREDIENTS

1 pound elbow macaroni, UNCOOKED
1/2 cup butter, melted
4 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
6 ounces whipped cream cheese
1/2 cup shredded parmesan
24 ounces evaporated milk
2 cups milk (we usually drink 1%, but if you’re already making a WHOLE CROCK POT FULL OF MAC & CHEESE, you might as well shoot the works and use whole milk.)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon paprika
Kosher salt and black pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

In the bowl of the slow cooker, combine macaroni, butter, cheddar cheese, cream cheese, parmesan, evaporated milk, whole milk (you’re using skim, aren’t you? Wuss.), garlic powder and paprika. Stir in salt and pepper.
Cook on high until the pasta is cooked through and the sauce has thickened. Check it at 2 hours, then every 20 minutes thereafter. Maximum 3 hours.

Pro tip #1

If you have a pepper grinder, use fresh ground pepper. That pungence combines with the sharpness of the cheddar to really make the flavor pop.

Pro tip #2

You may have noticed that the recipe says elbow macaroni, but the picture shows a box of radiatore. Don’t use radiatore for this recipe. Raditore is awesome if you’re making mac & cheese on the stovetop, but in a slow cooker, it comes out like this:

Slow Cooker Mac and Cheese — Delicious, but clumpy and a bit mushy. Stick with the elbows.

Pro tip #3

That nasty-looking burned cheese along the inside of the crock pot? That’s actually the best part. It’s worth the scrapin’! If I don’t fight you for it, my wife will.

Pro tip #4

When reheating, add some milk to restore the creaminess. I also like to spike mine with some hot sauce. My favorite one with this recipe is Parrot Head, which I found at the Pepper Palace. I haven’t seen it anywhere else, so I may have to grab another bottle when I get back down to the Gulf later this month.

Parrot Head hot sauce from the Pepper Palace — This is made primarily with red habanero chiles, and is therefore not for the timid.

Getcha some!

Meijer mPerks Rewards

March 30, 2018May 6, 2019 - Scott Leave a comment

My wife, Diana, and I are always looking for ways to save money. She can clip coupons and sniff out deals as well as anyone. There is one rewards program, however, thats stands out above all others where our grocery budget is concerned: Meijer mPerks.

Diana is from the Toledo Strip, that area along the Ohio-Michigan border. The Meijer superstore chain got its start in 1934 in Greenville, Michigan, not too far from Diana’s old stomping grounds. (Pause for mental image of my wife stomping on the ground.)

So when Meijer opened a store here in Springfield, IL about 10 years ago, the brand familiarity attracted her. At first, I was concerned that the groceries were a bit pricier than a couple of stores closer to our home. That concern went away when Meijer instituted the mPerks program in 2010.

mPerks basically takes coupon clipping to the next level. Instead of having to scan the coupons and sale flyers in the Sunday paper, then build your shopping list around that, mPerks builds the sales and coupons around the stuff you were going to get anyway. Plus, there are various rewards that accumulate the more you shop at Meijer. One that comes up for us often is filling five prescriptions at the Meijer pharmacy and getting $10 off our next shopping trip.

There are also all sorts of in-store savings, and yes, there are digital coupons as well. You can check them off on the website or mobile app before you go to the store. Then, at the checkout line, punch in your linked phone number and watch your grocery bill shrink.

Meijer mPerks coupons — Meijer will send you coupons in the mail based on stuff you’ve actually bought before, and are therefore likely to buy again. A little creepy, but cool!

After a while, when you get coordinated enough to combine mPerks rewards with what’s on sale in the store already, you end up with a trip like the one on the receipt above. For those of you who don’t math, that’s a 58% savings on that grocery trip, over half of which was just mPerks, including the aforementioned $10 prescription reward. Tide detergent, normally $9.99, was on sale for $7.99 with mPerks taking off another $2. My daughter likes cucumbers. A pack of the little ones normally sells for $2.50. They were buy-one-get-one-free on this particular day. Take off another dollar for mPerks, and that’s $5 worth of cat terror for $1.50.

If you can keep this up for an entire year, you end up with something that looks like this:

Meijer savings — Total savings for 2017: $1,274.51!

So bottom line, if there’s a Meijer store near you, and you shop there, and you’re NOT using mPerks, you need to start. On the other hand, if you’d rather not save over $100/month on groceries, please drop me a line at ms****@lo***********.net, and I’ll be happy to tell you where you can send that $100!

(P.S. No cats were harmed in the filming of that video. As far as I know. They’re not my cats.)

Hy-Vee Market Grille

March 9, 2018 - Scott Leave a comment

Hy-Vee is a Midwestern grocery store chain that operates some 240 stores in eight states, including here in Springfield, IL. It has become a retail anchor here, bringing 24-hour shopping into a part of town that had been going downhill fast. I’m glad they’re here. Full disclosure: although Hy-Vee appears to be an excellent grocery store, I don’t shop there, strictly because of location. I live two towns over, so it just isn’t convenient for me.

What I DO go to Hy-Vee for is the Market Grille, a restaurant attached to the store. Specifically on Sundays and Mondays.

Sunday Brunch

It is a long-standing tradition with my family that we will go out for one big meal after church. Then we won’t eat for the rest of the day. A good brunch buffet accomplishes this goal quite nicely. Hy-Vee Market Grille has a brunch buffet that will make your jaw drop. It cost $17.99 a person last I checked (add $1.99 for drink), so it’s not cheap. (Pro tip–look for coupons in the Sunday newspaper). But when you realize what you’re getting for your money, you don’t mind so much.

In the main restaurant area, you see what you would expect to see at a decent brunch buffet. Breakfast foods, a carving station, smoked salmon and cocktail shrimp, a lunch entree or two with some interesting variation on potatoes, a dessert table, and a sampling of cheese and/or sushi. Not bad. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Walk out through the sliding glass doors into the main store area and prepare to be amazed. There is a good-sized salad bar out there and a deli with several stations where shoppers frequently get meals to go. Most of that stuff is included in the buffet as well! You can get asian entrees, pizza, BBQ, all kinds of sides, even the huge desserts that you’ll need help finishing. All included. The “outside” part of the buffet is also available during the week, I believe for $14.99.

Monday Night Specials

Now on Monday night, the draw for me is trivia. I have a lint trap for a brain. What I mean is that I frequently forget important things, but the most useless information just gets stuck in my head and won’t leave. I greatly enjoy putting this otherwise impractical skill to good use in an environment of friendly competition.

Trivia Workshop, a local organization that runs various trivia events, has a traveling show called Pub Quiz, whereby they do a trivia contest on Monday through Thursday evening in a weekly rotating location. Since these are typically slower nights for these establishments, the trivia is a draw for a certain segment of the population, to which I happen to belong. Hy-Vee’s starts at 7:30 on Mondays. The place gets packed though, so you need to be there at least an hour early to get a seat. Of course, while you’re there and waiting, you’ll probably get something to eat and/or drink. That’s kind of the point.

Hy-Vee Market Grille sweetens the deal on Monday night with a burger and tap special. It is a point of some contention who has the best burgers in Springfield, but these folks are definitely near the top of the list. They switch up the menu a fair amount, but a perennial favorite is the Mac-n-Cheese Burger. Served open-faced on sourdough bread (because there’s no way you could pick this thing up without wearing it), this half-pound burger is covered in white cheddar mac and cheese, then finished with some bacon bits and toasted panko bread crumbs. It sells for $12, but on Monday night, the second one is half price!

Need something to wash it down? (That’s not really a question.) Hy-vee Market Grille has an ever-changing array of craft beers on tap. They’re half price on Monday night too.

As good as the burgers are, and as good as the deal on them is on Monday night, sometimes I’m craving something else. My favorite dish at Hy-Vee Market Grille is the BBQ Bacon Fried Rice (pictured above with an Old Bakery Porter, brewed in Alton, IL). It’s exactly what it sounds like. Although one does not normally think of either BBQ or bacon when thinking of a Thai-inspired fried rice dish, after you try this, you won’t be able to unthink it. This dish sells for $13, the beer for $6 (but only $3 on Monday night!).

Now as I said before, I don’t do my normal shopping at Hy-Vee because of the location, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t ever. Do any of you shop there? If so, what’s the main draw for you?

Potato Chips

March 6, 2018October 9, 2021 - Scott Leave a comment

I can’t recall remember a time in my life when I didn’t like potato chips. The more unusual the flavor, the better. I can actually thank Frito-Lay for introducing me to previously untapped realms of flavor awesomeness with their Cajun Spice flavored Ruffles (sadly discontinued). Some of y’all are old enough to remember the commercial for those, with Justin Wilson, the Cookin’ Cajun saying, “They’re wondermous, I gar-on-tee!”

Up in Central Illinois, I had never heard anyone talk that way before, but I was intrigued by this character, so I sought out his “Louisiana Cookin Outdoors” show on PBS. My life has never been the same. Louisiana food is now among my very favorite cuisine. And it all started with a bag of chips!

i don’t get a lot of potato chips, because first of all, they’re no dang good for you. I’m at the age where the weight comes on a lot easier than it comes off, so I have to be careful about such things. As such, you will almost never see me eating plain potato chips. If I’m going to be rationing them out, I want them to be as interesting as possible.

So when I see a bag of chips that says, “a savory combination of sharp parmesan with subtle tones of smoked pancetta,” my curiosity is going to be piqued.

Deals on chips

Now in truth, these chips weren’t really that good. However, when you consider that they can be had at Aldi for only $1.79, I consider that a small price to pay for low-rent culinary experimentation.

I’m always on the lookout for new flavors of chips to try. My favorite that I’ve had recently are the Steak & Onion flavor from Meijer. Probably my all-time favorite are Krunchers Mesquite BBQ. Used to get those all the time in college when I could afford them. Otherwise, we had to settle for Kelly, the poor man’s kettle-cooked chip. That was a local product in Decatur, IL where I went to school. At least it was until the day the workers showed up and the doors were locked. Permanently. But that’s another story.

So what’s your all-time favorite potato chip? How about the most unusual flavor you’ve ever had? Enquiring stomachs want to know!

Saint Martin (or was it Sint Maarten?)

March 2, 2018May 1, 2018 - Scott Leave a comment

So on our honeymoon, my wife and I went on a Caribbean cruise. It was my first time on a cruise ship. I became spoiled very quickly with the sunshine, the sound of the waves from our balcony and being able to see places you can’t drive to. And cruise ship food is legendary. It’s everywhere, all the time, and frequently awesome. Plus, most of it is included in the price of your ticket, so you don’t have to get nervous at the dining table when you see things on the menu that you wouldn’t eat at home because they’re too expensive. Lobster tail or filet mignon? Have both. You’re on vacation!

Long story short, we decided that if our finances allowed, we would try to do a cruise every five years. So when the five-year mark rolled around, we made good on that and boarded the Carnival Miracle in Ft. Lauderdale. I could do a whole series of posts just on cruise ship food (and I probably will at some point), but today, I want to talk about our first stop on this particular voyage, a tiny little island called Saint Martin/Sint Maarten.

Why does it have two names? Because it’s actually two countries on one island that measures a scant 34 square miles, which is about half the size of the city of Springfield, Illinois. The southern part of the island is Sint Maarten, part of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. The northern part is Collectivité de Saint-Martin, an overseas collectivity of France. St. Martin/Sint Maarten is known for many things, but we’re here to talk about the food.

Oh, that food. . .

Basically, I would have to make many more trips to explore ALL the food options on this island, particularly on the French side, but here’s what I experienced in our day there. We disembarked at the Great Bay in Philipsburg, the capital of the Dutch side.

Downtown Philipsburg is easily walkable, and our wanderings brought us to the Guavaberry Emporium.

Guavaberry is the national liqeur of St. Martin/Sint Maarten. It is made from rum, cane sugar and the rare wild guavaberries that grow in the center of the island. On Front Street is a shop that sells rums and liqueurs. . .and hot sauces.

You have my attention, Guavaberry Emporium.

Of all the comestibles that I consider myself a connoisseur of, hot sauce probably tops the list. So whenever in my wanderings I come across a place that has samples, it’s, “Honey, you go browse. If you need me, I’ll be over here hurting myself.”

The Guavaberry Emporium has 11 different sauces and spices for sale. I tried most of them, but one was a cut above. It is known as Liquid Fire, and is billed as “not for children or normal adults.” In about a 4-second span it is sweet, then fruity, then intensely hot. Notice the sweatball on my forehead. That’s not just from the tropical weather.

Whew, I think I need a break before lunch, but I AM getting hungry!

(Come back next week for Part 2: The French Side)

Donuts

February 28, 2018July 6, 2018 - Scott Leave a comment

My wife, Diana, loves donuts. Any kind of donut. Take some dough and fry it, and she’s there.
I liked them a lot more when I was younger and fried food didn’t bother me so much, but I can still go for a donut every now and then. When I was growing up in Mattoon, IL, the place to go was Mister Donut. I was (and am) particularly a fan of almost any kind of filled donut, but Mister Donut Bavarian Creams were always my favorite as a kid.

Today, only one Mister Donut remains in North America. Fortunately, it’s within 90 minutes of my house, in Godfrey, IL, near Alton. It’s as good as I remember it, plus they have a Strawberry Angel to go with the Chocolate and Vanilla that I grew up with. The Angels have more of a whipped cream filling, as opposed to a custard.

Though my wife prefers raised dough, I am also a fan of cake donuts. Regular, chocolate, iced or plain, I love them all. A particularly yummy local treat is the Apple Cider donuts from the Apple Barn in Chatham, IL. If you’re in the neighborhood, go get you a dozen of those. You’ll thank me later.

Donuts on road trips are a family tradition of ours as well. From the bag of chocolate iced donuts we keep in the car for the trip (affectionately referred to by my family as “plastic donuts”) to Krispy Kreme sightings, it seems we are always on the lookout for a good donut. I think it’s no accident that my wife was born on National Donut Day (June 7). Since we are frequently on vacation around her birthday, we are always on the lookout for birthday donuts.

Last summer, Diana and I vacationed in Estes Park, Colorado. For those of you that know, Estes Park has the busiest Safeway store in America. This store sits in the shadow of the Stanley Hotel, which was already famous, but made even more so by the fact that it was where a young Stephen King stayed when he was inspired to write The Shining. (I was a bit surprised to see that the hotel is up on a hill right in the middle of town, since the movie leads you to believe it’s isolated.)
Safeway is not afraid to get outside the box (see what i did there?) with its donut flavors. A couple to note are the Fruity Pebble and, my personal favorite, maple bacon. Yes, that’s an entire strip of bacon on that longjohn.

What are some of your favorite donut memories? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out on any of the yums to come here at Low-Rent Foodie!